My reader asks "Will I get her back by changing my behavior?". Unfortunately, my reader didn't go into a lot of information about what his current behavior is, except to say he hasn't been handling it very well and his friends are just telling him to "Get over it".
But I can pretty much guess his behavior falls into 1 of 3 usual patterns. Before I go into those behaviors, I want you keep something in mind if you are trying to get a girl back. If you learn nothing else here, lock this one thing into your brain:
Your Mindset is Everything!
Let's talk a little about the 3 common behaviors following a break up.
Behavior 1
Thinking guilt or pity will bring her back. This dude has sent her enough flowers to keep the florists kid in college for the next year. He sends her a hundred texts a day, begging her to come back, they all go unanswered. He announces his undying love for her, that is ignored or worse, scorned. This behavior has no chance in hell of succeeding. This guy has no idea of the correct steps to take.
Behavior 2
Then there's the nutcase, who drives by her house a hundred times a day, shows up at her work or school and waits for her come out. He rings her phone endlessly. He's gung-ho, overly aggressive in his approach. Pretty soon his ex explodes all over him, then she completely ignores him...he's one mistake away from a restraining order.
Behavior 3
The total loser. This is the guy that cries all day, staring out the window hoping to see her drive up. He stares at the phone, begging it to ring and it be her. He keeps the stereo turned off because every damn song that plays reminds him of her. Yeah, she's gonna run right back to this broken, needy, shattered mess - uh not likely.
I hope you starting to see why mindset is so important. To get control of the relationship, you first must get control of yourself.
As long as you are asking "Will I get her back?", I can assume your mindset is all wrong. Just the tone of that question reeks of desperation, and that leaves your girl seeing you as weak, needy, and "clingy"...all very bad signals to be giving off.
Now, getting a girl back isn't all that difficult, if you maintain the proper mindset. You must have a positive outlook!
Come on man, you know she loved you once - And, Yes she is still watching. This is the very reason you can't be exhibiting any of the behaviors we talked about above. This is the time you have to put on your game face and exude confidence, even if you don't feel it right now.
The behaviors and actions you show right now will determine if you will get her back or not. Instead of the behaviors we talked about above, a few of the things you need to be working on are:
Confidence
Women admire a confident man. They desire someone who appears self-confident, decisive, and knows what he wants and how to get it. Women want to respect their man above all else.
Optimism
Lose the gloom and doom attitude if you want her back. Optimism is attractive to her, it makes her, and everyone, feel better about themselves. Women want a man that expects good things to be headed his way.
Happiness
Think about how you were before the break up. Were you happy? If not, if you were miserable - then trust me, she was miserable too. Depression, stress, a crappy attitude are all things that drag a relationship down. After all, the reason for being with someone is to be happy.
Working on those traits will get you started for now, use them and develop them! Take a long hard look at yourself, are you exhibiting one of the three behaviors, or are you showing your ex a confident, optimistic guy that is happy and fun to be around?
Stop asking "Will I get her back?" and start saying "I will get her back" by changing my attitude and having the proper mindset!
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