Wednesday 14 December 2011

5 Signs Its Time to End Your Relationship

In our heart of hearts, we always know when a relationship is ending. Sadly, people avoid and ignore the signs - staying in relationships long past their expiry date. Why? Breaking up is painful and people would rather delay dealing with it and avoid feeling the pain for as long as possible.

If you are unhappy and in a relationship you sense isn't serving you any longer, then read on. Also, please know this is a very brief synopsis of each sign. I could easily have written pages about each one but only have limited space here. If, after reading this article, you feel you need more in depth guidance and support, be sure to take me up on my offer at the end, ok?

1) Fighting
Has your relationship become a battleground? If so, then the only thing you have left in common is conflict. When you're at this point, the relationship is no longer nourishing you, instead it's depleting you. Fighting can be healthy within a flourishing relationship, but continual repetitive purposeless arguments with nothing being resolved indicates the relationship is over.

2) Small Common Ground
When all the things that connected you in the beginning are now replaced with a multitude of differences. You may find all the activities, habits and even where you want to vacation no longer align.
The most common place this shows up is in time. One partner feels daily intimate connection is vital, while the other prefers just weekends.

3) Boredom
Another way to tell it's over is when your waking up depressed, vaguely disconnected and blue. You're not sure what's the matter with you, nothing terrible has happened, you just have an overall feeling of hopelessness and very little joy in your life. This often means the essential vitality in your relationship is gone and you're not "in love" any more.

I want to point out there is a big difference between comfortable familiarity and boredom. The best metaphor is the difference between a comfortable pair of shoes and old shoes that have worn out and hurt your feet. Check in and see which shoe fits YOU.

4) Emotional Distance
This is when you become aware that the person you've been relating with is no longer there when you reach out to make contact. Any attempt to have a conversation consistently illicits a negative response. This is what people mean when they refer to "a lack of communication". When communication has broken down (verbal, sexual, emotional, affection) this is experienced as emotional distance.

5) Moving Away
Many relationships that have gone past their expiry date really collapse when there's a change in geography. Habits and routines are often the glue that binds and supports a relationship. For this reason, a relationship that is ending will be severely impacted with a change in location. The relationship was being held together by the house, the neighbourhood or town.

Couples will buy and build their dream house and, once moved in, the relationship falls apart. It may look like moving was the problem, but actually the breakdown was already occurring long before.

If one or more of these points is resonating, then we should probably talk. I've successfully helped many women smoothly transition either back to the honeymoon stage as well as expertly guide others to release a relationship in the most loving, least painful and conscious way. 


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Tuesday 13 December 2011

How Can You Move On When She's Still In Your Life?

Moving on after an unwanted breakup is hard to do in the best of circumstances. You know, when you part ways and can go for a long period of time without being faced with her each and every day. It's even harder when you must face each other day in and day out once the breakup has happened.


She may have had time to come to terms with the fact the relationship has ended. It was her decision to end things after all. But you're still trying to get your bearings. Every time you bump into her it feels like you've just been sucker punched. You want to move on and put the past behind you, but how do you do that when she's not exactly in your past?


Working together or living a lifestyle that keeps you together after a breakup can be extremely difficult for the one who didn't want things to end. There are a lot of unresolved issues, more than a little bit of hurt, and even some amount of anger to deal with. It makes the situation even worse when you can't really express how you feel and still have to deal with the constant reminder of what is lost to you.


How do you cope in a situation like this?


Consider a Change


If there is ever a time to consider big changes in your life, this is one of those times. If you're working with your ex, then it's time to consider changing jobs or, perhaps, even careers.


It's always wise to do a little bit of a self-evaluation after a breakup. You know, take time to see where you are right now compared to where you thought you'd be by now and how that ranks with where you want to be right now. No, I'm not talking about where you'd like to be as her boyfriend but were you'd like to be as an individual man.


Are you doing the job you always wanted or did you settle for something different? Do you have the degree of financial security for the future you'd always dreamed off? Did you sell out of the excitement you wanted in your career for the security of a steady paycheck? Are you willing to make changes?


I know the job market seems tough right now but maybe it's time to consider going back to school and taking small steps toward a different future.


Keep in mind that not all changes have to be centered around your office situation. Other changes you might consider would be a new place to live – even anew cityif that can be arranged. If you're going to make a clean break and start over and you need distance from your ex, there's no better way to get it than by leaving town.


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Monday 12 December 2011

Why Rebounds And No Contact Work In Your Favor When You Want to Get Your Ex Back

If the person who gets dumped stays around to try to be friends with the dumper, it's a lot easier for the rebound relationship to flourish. Why? Because someone else is taking up the slack, someone who knows the dumper much better. Eventually the rebound learns enough to get into the dumpee's spot and then the dumpee's pushed out of the relationship totally.

So if the ex is someone you've been in a long term relationship with, and you've gotten into the attachment stage, you're still in the attachment stage even after the split (especially if it was an unaggressive split). The dumper is in the honeymoon stage with the rebound relationship, giving them the best of both worlds - and it's great for the rebound as well. If you hear people say they're torn between two loves, this is typically what they are referring to.

You can be in love with both, but at different stages in your relationship. So they get the excitement of a new relationship along with security from the old one. This is why affairs in normally strong relationships can happen as well.

You will often hear this if you hear the dumper's side of the story. They'll say you're like my best friend, brother, sister, etc. They love you. But they aren't IN love with you. This is the attachment phase of a relationship. The rebound is sexually exciting and fun and thus they want to be with the rebound, not with you. If you don't believe me, look around objectively at relationships you've seen.

Ones where people are always fighting and breaking up and cheating and yet they still stay together. Consider women who love men that are always up and down and have no future. Look at men who are with weird needy women who treat them like crap. Or women who go out with peniless bad boy bikers.

It all boils down to sexual excitement and attraction, plain and simple. So let's say you're the dumpee and you want your ex back. You MUST go low contact or no contact if possible. If you're in a good place with your ex, then don't just suddenly go NC, instead do it gradually. So if your ex panics that you're suddenly gone, you dont have to be completely gone - just taking a back role.

When you go no contact, let your ex know, and do it in a considerate way. Tell them that you need space and time to move on. Wish them the best and hope that they truly succeed in their new relationship. They may ask if you want to be friends in the future, say that you don't know if it's a good idea, but that the future is always uncertain. Leave it there - that's all you need to do.

Now your job is to get fit, improve your life, date other people, get out and socialize, etc. Genuinely do start moving on in your life. If your ex does in fact come back into your life later on, which they will if you had a good connection with them, then the new you - the attractive and self sufficient one - will really hook them. They will start thinking about being with YOU again. This is a big point for a man.

Your ex girlfriend leaves you telling you she felt you were too much a boy. Well, she finds you a man six months after, and then you have HUGE points with her and she will be interested in you intimately. This will increase your air of mystery to her and surprise her.

No, you can't MAKE your ex fall in love with you, but you can improve the odds of them coming back to you. Your chances are way higher with an ex because they already know you. Your time apart will be in your favor because you'll instantly hook them as they'll be attracted to the new you much more quickly.


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Sunday 11 December 2011

Super Effective Tricks to Get My Ex to Talk to Me Again! This is an Absolute Must Know For You

Do you feel frustrated because of your broken romance relationship? Do you want to explain about your situation to your ex that led to break up? You can then make use of some tricks to get your ex to talk to you again.


You should remember that calling your ex over and again cannot help to get him/her back. Instead, it would irritate him/her. You need to give your ex enough time to think about the break up clearly.


You can also dedicate your time to think about where it went wrong in your relationship. It is worth to focus on your negative aspect. You can then start your communication with an apology for your wrong behavior that hurt your ex in the past. If your ex does not want to respond, then you can send short messages to his/her mobile phone. It is not advisable to show that you have broken down. You can send SMS in a friendly manner at least three times a week.


You need to dress well to attract the attention of your ex. You can start doing some workouts and drop your extra pound. This can make your ex to realize that he/she is missing something in his/her life.


You can ask any of your common friends to explain your situation to your ex. However, you need to be careful in choosing a friend who can communicate your mind clearly to your ex. Some of your friends may advise you to go out and meet a new partner to kindle the envy of your ex. Some may advice to consume alcohol and have some fun. You cannot get your ex back in either ways.


If your ex starts thinking that he/she misses you more, you need to use that chance to rebuild your relationship stronger than before.


Pay Close Attention Here


Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out


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