Break Up Advice For Men And Women: 04/12/2011

Saturday 10 December 2011

How To Get Back With Your Ex, 5 Simple Ideas To Use Now

If the best thing you can do right now is to learn how to get back with your ex, then read and use these 5 simple tips. Maybe you were in a relationship that you thought would last forever. Whether it was a simple dating relationship that suddenly ended or a marriage that had problems and was heading for divorce, don't give up on it, believe that there is always another chance to get back with your ex. Now that you've realized that you're not ready to give in and let your love slip away, then you need to know how to get back with your ex.

The main thing to remember is that if there was love between you, then there is always the possibility that it is still there. We cannot rewrite what has happened or undo our mistakes, but we can always give our love another chance to grow between us.

You both need the chance to take a step back away from the relationship, and the problems within, and give yourselves the time to think things through without everyday pressures. After this crucial step only then will it be a good thing to get together for a discussion. Don't be tempted to rush this crucial no contact step.
The problems that got in the way of your love will eventually need to be addressed. You cannot move on with your relationship without sorting out the problems. That would just put your relationship back to where it was when you broke up. You will need to talk out the issues, and make plans to resolve them. If these problems can't be sorted out then your reconciliation won't last. Maybe it was one major problem or something that happened which caused your breakup, or a behavior that was intolerable to the other partner. Whatever the cause, you both need to agree to either accept or change the behavior or fix the issue.

A problem caused by one partner's cheating may be a difficult problem to get over. Any break of trust and consequent re-building of that trust can be a major issue to resolve. Such a destruction of trust can cause such heartache, that it will take time and especially belief that there can ever be reason to trust in the future. If there is still love between you, it may be beneficial to get the assistance of a person who is qualified to help deal with such issues.

Another important piece of advice, if you want to know how to get your ex back is not to behave in a needy way. No doubt you are desperate to get back with them, but you cannot do this by giving them power over you. You need to be your own person, and act confident and assured even when you don't feel it. They will find this confident you both attractive and impressive. Rather than driving them further away, a confident approach will pull them towards you.

The last major thing to think about is whether you are doing the right thing in getting them back. Are you prepared to change your ways, or do you believe that they can change their ways in the future? Make sure that you are convinced that this is right for both of you. It won't be easy. It will take work on both your parts to re-build a failed relationship. Make sure that the relationship is worth the effort. Will you be better off with them than on your own or with someone else. Only you can decide if love can conquer all and to truly understand how to get back with your ex.

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Friday 9 December 2011

Will I Get Her Back by Fixing Her Problems, FAQs

Hi there, and welcome to another article in my FAQ's series. I received a letter from a reader asking "Will I get her back if I can fix [her problem/problems]. (Note - I won't share what my reader imagines "her problems" to be - they are not truly the issue for them anyway.) But the whole notion of fixing "anything", brings up a point I would like to expand on. Men and woman view issues vastly differently and a better understanding of these differences will help you get her back.

When I speak of the fundamental differences in men and women, I'm referring to how men and women differ in their thought process, how we communicate differently and the different ways we are attracted to in one another.

Typically females develop the creative side of their brain faster leading to enhanced feelings of love, communication and the importance of relationships. Yep, they like to cuddle more, feel love deeply and enjoy being taken care of.

While men develop the left side of the brain faster, the logical side. Which means we like to solve problems, build stuff, and figure stuff out. We like to fix shit! Our sense of value is based on producing results. Her sense of value is more based on "feeling".

One of women's biggest complaints is "You're always trying to change me". They want empathy and we offer solutions. We assume that if we can just fix them, or the problem, that it shows our love. Women most often just want us to sincerely listen to them.

As men we often hear "You don't listen"! Of course we aren't "really listening" we are busy trying to fix the dam problem.
Don't go about trying to get her back as something that needs "fixed", it won't work. She has to see you in a different light than she is seeing you now.

The things you value as important are not the same things she puts much value on. You have to understand she values love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship. Were you giving her these? Or were you trying to "fix" things instead?

She is not a broken screen door that needs repaired. When she is upset she doesn't necessarily expect you to "fix things" she just needs you to listen. Many arguments and fights can be avoided simply by listening to her.

Here's a quick example:

Bob has been really worried about getting a big promotion at work and has doing a few extra things at work and has been getting home a little late on occasion.

Tammy has had a bad day and barks at Bob when he arrives home late - again!

Bob is immediately offended because he knows how this promotion would cure many of their financial concerns and very logically explains this to her, again! He leaves it at that and assumes the issue has been "fixed". bob is a tad annoyed at her not appreciating the extra work he is doing....

Therefore,Bob never really heard what Tammy was really saying, and they end up bickering the evening away.

Let's play this out another way….

Bob arrives home, and when met with by an irritated Tammy, he stops and realizes that she is really saying something other than "you're late".

Bob realizes that he really has been neglecting Tammy because of work.

Bob: (giving Tammy a hug) Damn baby, I really have been spending too much time at work and not enough with you, I‘m sorry I‘m made you feel unappreciated!

Tammy (visually in a better mood already): Oh Bob, it's just that I miss you and I know you are trying really hard to get that promotion at work. Forget I said anything.

Bob: (looking sincerly into her eyes) No, I love you and you do as much as I do and I really do appreciate that. You mean everything to me.

Tammy: Awww, It's just that I had a really bad day, and no one appreciates me at work. I shouldn't take it out on you.

Bob: Baby, tell me what happened at work….

And they go on to have a meaningful conversation that leaves them feeling reconnected, instead of another night of arguing and bickering.

In summary, when asking "Will I get her back" be aware of these differences when communicating about anything important. Remember the things that are important to her; love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship.

Thursday 8 December 2011

How to Get Your Happily Ever After Back

In the beginning it was a lot like a fairy tale. You met your Prince Charming. You fell in love with him and he fell in love with you. It was a whirlwind courtship and you believed you both on your way to the storybook wedding you'd always dreamed of. Then, reality set in and happily ever after suddenly doesn't seem quite so certain.

You both still love each other. There's no doubt about that at all. In fact, love is the least of your worries. There's plenty of it to go around. The passion is still smoking hot too. A little too hot – at least when passions are high in the process of disagreeing. So, what is the problem that's taken you off course and what can you do to get your happily ever after back on track?

Write a Different Script

Work on this script together. The problem with happily ever after is that you've got two separate visions of exactly what that means coming into the picture – both of those visions are more than little bit unrealistic too. It's time for the two of you to have a long talk about what you expect from each other, what you'd like to get out of the relationship, and how you'd like to be treated.

Figure out which things you really need in a relationship, which things you'd like to have in a relationship but can be relatively happy without, and which things you can live without – provided that all your needs and some of your "wants" are being taken care of.

Decide on these things together and see how differently happily ever after turns out to be for both of you. Just make sure that you're both doing a little bit of giving and taking in the rewrite process.

Go for a Chance of Scenery

Sometimes, having the same old fights, discussions, arguments, and "make up" scenes in the same place can have a negative impact on the relationship. After a while it begins to feel like a repeat performance and a never-ending cycle.

It's time to break the cycle and get out of the rut. Something as simple as a change of scenery can often do the trick. When things start getting out of hand or you feel like you're beginning to lose a little of the spark and sizzle your relationship has always had before, then it's time to plan a little trip out of town.

I know budgets are tight these days and every penny counts. The last thing you want to do is add money problems on top of other contentious issues so start a little "get away" fund that you both contribute a small amount of money to each and every week.

If you both put $10 into the jar every week, it won't take long to have enough money for a weekend out of town. If you can hang on a little longer you should be able to manage a long weekend or a short vacation. The goal is to have funds available to travel when needed for the sake of recharging your relationship, after all.

Wednesday 7 December 2011

Simple Gestures that Will Sweep her off her Feet

The movies always show the grand statements designed to sweep girls off their feet. This leaves guys thinking that all women are after the big things. The truth of the matter though, is that it's the little things; the small, simple gestures, that worm their way into her heart and get a firm hold. If you've found the girl you know is right for you and you're ready to let her know that you're the guy for her, here are a few small things you can do that will make a big impression.

Cook for Her

Ancient wisdom says that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach but modern wise guys (not in the mafia sense) know that showing her you not only know how but are willing to cook for her is guaranteed to score you a few positive points. You'll score a few extra points if there is chocolate on the menu and you clean up after yourself.

Women love to know they're getting a burly macho he-man but they also like to see that he's not intimidated in the kitchen. She wants to know that he can help when life gets hectic and that he's "man enough" to step up to the plate and do it.

More importantly, not all women can cook. She might be looking for a guy who can cook at least as well as, if not better than, she can for the sake of survival down the road.

Send her Love Letters

You need to actually break out the pen and paper and write for this one. I know, it seems so archaic in the world of text messages, email, and Twitter. However, she can hang on to physical copies of the letters when you're not around, tie them up in pretty ribbons, and keep them around to remember your "courtship" years from now when she's starting to forget just how romantic you once were.

The key in these letters is romance. The fact that you're writing them down generally means you're going to put a little more thought into them than you would if you were quickly tapping out a text message or email. It also means you NEED to be more careful and say only what's on your heart. Always read through them before putting them into the mail and sending them to her.

If you want to score a few additional brownie points, fold the letters up and send them inside a romantic greeting card. This tells her you're thinking about her when she's not around enough that you went out and bought a greeting card just for her. Like I've said before, it's the simple little things that really make her heart melt.

Carry her Load for Her

If you've watched many movies that date back to the 1950's with teenage love stories involved the guys almost always end up carrying the school books the girl was lugging around. They understood that this simple gesture was a great way to score some major points.

It dates back to the old hunter – gatherer mindset that has been genetically programmed into men and women throughout the ages. Times may be changing but women still like to feel that the men in their lives are going to be the hunters and protectors. Carry the things that have her hands full. Lighten her load. Every time you do this, she'll fall a little more in love with you.

Tuesday 6 December 2011

I Think She Is Ready to Leave, What Can I Do to Make Her Stay?

Both men and women share one really big fear when it comes to relationships. That fear is... that the other person will leave them. For some people, this fear is extremely present in their lives, even when everything is going good. For others, it is there because they are getting the feeling that their significant other is going to leave them. If you are getting the feeling that your girlfriend is going to leave and you want to find a way to make her stay, read on.

Right off the bat, you want to know that as long as she has not left you yet, that is a very good thing. It's much easier to fix a relationship than it is to try and get someone back after they leave. Not that you can't get back a woman when she breaks up with you, it's just a little bit harder.

Here's some advice on how to make her stay if you think that your girlfriend is ready to leave you:

a) Don't over react to your fears.

While your intuition may be correct, it might not be. There's been some interesting research done recently in the field of social psychology that shows that people's intuitions are way off base in a lot of situations. And one such situation is where there are deep emotions involved. When emotions are involved and then you combine that with a little fear, it's easy to wind up thinking something is going to happen when there really is no reason to think it will.

b) Schedule out some alone time with your girlfriend.

One of the most common reasons why couples break up, is because they get to a point where they no longer spend a lot of quality time together. Like, when you were first dating your girlfriend, you probably were ready to drop everything just to spend some time with her. Then, when you are deeper into the relationship, you start to take each other for granted. Schedule out some alone time with your girlfriend. Take a weekend trip together. Take her out to her favorite club. Just make sure that you spend QUALITY time with her.

c) Find a way to hook her, so that she cannot even think of being without you.

You don't want to do this in some controlling, creepy kind of way. That's not at all what I am trying to suggest. You need to get her hooked on you and the best way to do this, is to find a way to connect with her on a level that no one else has before. Get inside her deeper than any other guy has... and she will want to stay with you and won't even be able to imagine life without you.

Monday 5 December 2011

Read How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Lots of people fall short to get back their love one simply because they do this anxiously in their own way. If you really want to win back your ex boyfriend, dont discard any chances to get him backward. It is important to do it in a systematic way with confidence and trust to yourself that you will succeed. Do not follow you own way if you are not sure that it would be effective, it might probably set yourself up to hell situation where getting ex back is impossible.

It is a common feeling between you and your ex - both of you feel desperate. Being broken hearted really is painful and hurtful, sometimes it cause you physical pain when it is past an acceptable limit. But you must keep yourself calm and cool so you can come up with some systematic ways of how to get your ex boyfriend back to you. Find out how to get your ex boyfriend backward without making mistakes, and learn to apply it to your situation. Although you are anxious to get back your ex and trying to deal with the break up, take time to consider if it is worthy to fight for the relationship. Does it worth?

It is practical and useful if you assessed your relationship way backward before the breakup. List down all the negatives and the positives of the relationship ; evaluate what part of the relationship worked better and what things would you like to adjust? Even if you may have been forsaken, keep in mind that there are only a few relationships that are ideal and this is your chance to evaluate how good the partnership truthfully was. This strategy of evaluating relationship helps dead set assess your real feelings towards your partner ; most of the time the results may shock you to find out that you are also set to let him go and move on. Or it could be the other way, it may confirm that you want to win your ex boyfriend backward because you still love him and that there is a hope for the both of you to be happy together.

However, if you really just want to learn how to get your ex backward and finish the depression, desperation and emotional distress of a breakup and get your ex backward then, you need to stop, you need to think, and you need to set yourself some ground rules to go by. If you cant do this, you will fall victim to your own feeling which would only make your life more miserable! Always keep in your mind not to let anyone tell you its overthere is no other right person who can decide that the relationship is over - only yourself can make a decision for it., and if you know as well as that it's not over yet, then you are on the first step to getting your ex backward : do n't give up! Eventually, you must think that the simplest approach to continue your emotions in test is to set yourself consistent ground rules, and use your head to stay your heart away from messing things up.

Dont let the heart deceive you! Let the head rule over your heart so it serves the purpose!

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Sunday 4 December 2011

What If Your Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break?

Did your girlfriend hint at the idea of taking a break for a little while? Has she gone even further and instead of hinted at it, demanded that the two of you take a break from each other? Are you wondering what that might possibly mean? If so, then you definitely want to keep reading all the way to the bottom. There is usually a good reason for why a woman might want to take a break from the guy she is dating, and sometimes it is not as bad as it might seem for the moment.

Women have given out the line about needing to take a break for ages. There is a good chance that your father heard it before and so did his father. It's nothing really new. However, when it happens to you it can easily seem brand new and not in a good way. More like in a way that you wish you did not have to experience at all.

Here are a few reasons why your girlfriend might want to take a break:

1) She is wrapped up in thinking about her future career wise and wants to focus on that for a while.

This may be the reason why she says that she needs to take a break. For some people, their career and getting ahead is the first priority that they have and if a relationship seems to be interfering with their advancing of their career, then the relationship needs to take a back seat in their mind. Never fear, this is a situation that does not need to spell the end of your hopes and dreams. It may be just a temporary phase, one that you can work through.

2) She is feeling too much passion in the relationship and does not know how to handle it.

If a woman feels as though there is too much passion or that things are moving too fast and she needs to be able to step back and get a breath of fresh air, so to speak, then this may be why she says that she needs to take a break. Again, this is a situation that does not mean that it has to be over for good.

3) She has lost her attraction to you and wants to date other men.

This is the situation that you really don't want to have to deal with. Many times the reason why a woman says that she wants tot take a break is because she just does not feel like she did when she first met you and she wants to see what she feels like with other men. This is a situation that you need to worry about, because it really can mean the end of you and her for good.