Saturday 5 November 2011

What is the Best Way to Move on after a Breakup?

Moving on after a breakup is one of the hardest things many people will ever have to do. It's hard to consciously leave a large part of your life behind you and move on towards other things that are unknown and, perhaps, a little bit frightening. It's even harder to do this knowing that you're going to have to do this without the one person who has been your comfort and security for so long by your side.


There's no way to get around the fact that breakups are painful. You can't say a lot about the relationship if there isn't pain involved in its demise. But, they don't have to be consuming. Some people forget that while the breakup is the end of something wonderful in their lives, it is also a new beginning for something that has the potential to be equally wonderful. Here are a few things you can do to ease the transition.


Make a List


Oh yes, lists are fun – but only if you intend to follow through with them. This list is one you'll want to finish. It isn't a bucket list. It's not things you want to do before you die. It's things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because your ex wouldn't let you or didn't approve. It could be something like deep sea fishing, sky diving, or buying a motorcycle.


You want your list to be of the "Top 10 Things I Couldn't Do then but Want to do Now" or something along the lines, variety. The goal is to have 10 things on your list. They don't have to all be big expensive things. In fact, it's better if they aren't. You want them to be reasonably affordable but don't eliminate something that's really important just because it's a little on the pricey side. Part of the fun is coming up with a plan to save the money (second job, extra hours of work, etc.) to accomplish your goal.


You need at least 10 things that you really want to do but haven't ever been able to. Then you need to sit down and plan out a method to accomplish each and everything on your list.


Having goals and making plans is a critical step towards healing and moving on after a breakup. More importantly, it gives you something to look forward to and ten really big reasons to keep getting up in the morning and going about your day. As you get closer to reaching each and every one of your goals, your excitement is going to build and you'll find that you're getting back into enjoying the land of the living all over again.


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Friday 4 November 2011

Healing a Relationship, Guy Tips On Restoring A Relationship

If your relationship is on borderline between success and failure, then, you'll need a guy's advice. Your buddies may be there to support you, but, same as you, they probably don't have an idea about your situation. Continue reading to catch some tips on restoring your relationship.

There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: "I'm sorry" and/or "I was wrong". The two phrases would be a waste if there is no sincerity within it. The beginning of healing your relationship would be being man enough to accept once weakness and mistakes.

A bunch of men see apologizing as a sign of weakness or defeat. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. If you come to think of it, the hardest part is to acknowledge ones mistakes and realizing you hurt someone special. It is quite troublesome to do. Asking for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but it is a proof of being a man.

In different ways, it is very easy to lay your feelings inside and refuse to admit you were wrong. Again, a very "courageous" thing to do. But is it? While that might be the first thing many men will do, it's not the easiest in the long run. Keeping those feelings will never set you free. They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it. It may be painful but you have to face it to overcome it. That's the only option for you to attain peace within you.

If you want to rebuild your relationship, you have to acknowledge your part on the downfall of the relationship. Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

There's a seen in the movie "The Breakup" where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting. She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up. She said to him " I want you to want to do the dishes" and, of course, his response was "Why would I want to help you do the dishes"? A valid question. Sort of.

Actually, the woman never technically means to let him wash the dishes. What she really wants him to do was to help her out. She just wanted him to show his love by helping her to release some burdens within her.

Are you guilty of pretending to be 'stupid'. Pretending that you don't have idea with what your wife wants. Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie. But men do really know what their wife wants. They just pretend not to know because pretending is much easier than helping.  It's selfish. Continuing such problem will lead to bigger one on the near future. Bottom line is, learn to appreciate your wife.

The good news is that if you've made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man. You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect. Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.


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Thursday 3 November 2011

Your Girl Left You for Another Guy, How to Get Her Back

There may be a misconception that men are tough, and experiencing a break up is no big deal, it happens and you just move on. But the fact is it does bother them just as it would any woman.


Also it can be a big blow to your ego if your girl left you for another guy. Regardless, you have found you still have feelings for your ex girlfriend and now are looking for ways to get her back.


Before you make that commitment to find a way to get her back, take a moment to make sure this is what you really want. A person's emotions can get the better of them and cause them to make wrong decisions. Make sure that getting back your ex girlfriend is what is best for you.


If you are not 100 percent sure about what you want, perhaps you should see other women to help you gauge your feelings. If you find yourself not thinking about your ex when you are with someone else, that may clue you that it's time to move on.


So now we will assume you decide to get her back. The first thing you need to do is figure out why she left you in the first place. Why would she leave you for another guy?


By understanding what happened between the two of you, your job of getting her back will be easier. Whatever you discover, learn from it and make improvements in yourself if that is what it takes. Could it be he has something you don't? What makes him so special over you? This would be something else you could look into.


Before you go head first into trying to get your ex back, take some time off to settle down. If you are upset over the break up you are only going to make things worse. You also should give your ex some time to think over her situation, she may realize she made a mistake and contact you making your job easier.


When you undertake getting her back keep calm and collective. Do not overdo trying to contact her, let her think you are doing ok on your own and are not desperate for her. Learn to be a good communicator so you can make your points clearly understood without making her avoid you.


Take things one step at a time and be respectful of her, her family and friends. You are trying to make a good impression on anyone that may reflect this back to your ex so she can see some positive things about you.


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Wednesday 2 November 2011

7 Techniques To Making Your Ex Back

It sometimes happens that even a relationship ends there is still love between the parties. This happens when everyone involved has made some mistakes and bad behavior towards one another. But usually he who is to blame for ending the relationship are men. The figures indicate that they realize too late how much they care about his girlfriend and care about her. You try to change only after lose. How to Get Your Ex - A Simple Guide

There is nothing worse than being abandoned by the person you thought was ideal. Trying to incorporate new woman in your life is difficult. If you have lost your true love because of you and really want to return I recommend you continue reading this article, I shared 6 ways to make it back to you.

1_ In first place after a few days, call and tell you very sure you want to see it. If she accepts, they can plan lunch. This is the opportunity to make your ex, change the thinking that led her to make such a decision. Here you have to make clear that both you and she had her reasons for what happened, and certainly the fact of separation was the result of a summation of things that were out of place, speaking surely could be improved. This is where you sincerely apologize if you make a mistake.
2 _ If she does not want to talk to you and not take the phone when you call you'll have to surprise waiting in front of the office where he works and offer to accompany her home. But first you have to make sure she is not having a new boyfriend, it could be that someone else is waiting and your strips so overboard your chance to approach her again.

3 _ the way you start the quote is what will make you feel special. Be honest and tell her you love her still. Use the past to take advantage and let them know that anyone deserves a second chance, and that things are different now. If they do not beg, she might think you're really desperate. Just say you're ready to make your relationship a priority in your life.

4 _ If you can set an appointment with her, please be positive, laugh and smile all the time. This gesture will make her feel good. Subtly seek physical contact when she is talking. It is important to start here to raise the level of attraction between you two, if she still loves you, you know she has a weakness to you.

5 - If it did not fall into your arms after this date, do not give up. Call her often and just ask how you feel. You can also do something special for her, such as sending flowers and gifts. Never forget the anniversary and his birthday.

6 _ Recipient mails them and make them know you're available any time, it's more if you want to go out and talk a while could be found. So you're demonstrating that you are not seeing another girl and she is even more important to you.

7 _ Do not forget to be yourself, show him that you're not playing and that your intentions are very sincere. On the other hand, do not be jealous, if she had a date with another man and realized that's ready to get back together, not blame, just move on.

With these techniques, a little luck and all your charm, your girlfriend can get this back with you, faster than you think.


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Tuesday 1 November 2011

Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Don't Get Blinded by Emotions!

If you are starting to feel as though you are just pushing your ex-boyfriend away instead of winning the game of getting him back then this is for you! I've got a get your ex back tip that will not only help you get him back, but help you not push him away forever!


Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Mistakes


The reason you found this article is because you are SERIOUS about getting your ex boyfriend back. In fact, you may be TOO SERIOUS! What I mean is that you may be so serious about getting him back that you have now become anxious and behaving in a way that will not win him back, but instead will push him further away.


Your ex boyfriend is not going to respond to your anxious behavior in a good way. Nobody wants to receive that kind of desperate pressure from their ex, and no one finds it attractive.


Some things you may be doing to your ex-boyfriend are:

Calling him continuously.Constantly text messaging him.Harassing him on Facebook.Constantly asking his friends to talk to him.Crying, whining, or begging for him back.Trying to make him feel bad by being depressed or by crying around him.

These are all tactics that are going to push your ex-boyfriend further away instead of allowing you to win him back, and if you want to get him back you need to stop doing them now!


Here's a Better Plan To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back


First of all, your anxiety about the relationship is not going to go away until you give yourself some space from your ex. I know it sounds cliché, but it's only cliché because it works! When you give yourself some space you can focus on yourself and the issues you need to deal with instead of focusing on the tragedy of the breakup.


It will be hard to do this at first, but you will find that the more you take your focus off of your ex-boyfriend and put it onto yourself, the better you will feel. Your mind will clear up and you will see things without the emotional charge behind them. That means that you will see things in a more realistic way.


During this time you will be able to realize what you did wrong, and what your ex did wrong, and come up with a plan to fix the situation. Also during this time your ex will start to view you in a new light because you will not be constantly trying to win him back. He may start to miss you and he may start to solve the relationship issues as well, which will result in the both of you having a new plan of attack towards a healthy relationship.


Don't let yourself slip back into your anxiety during this time. Remember that in order to have a better relationship you need to tackle the relationship issues that broke you up in the first place, and you can't do that unless you see them clearly for what they are, so avoid contacting him and letting your emotions get in the way of your rational thinking.


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Monday 31 October 2011

How do You Know it's Time to Move on After a Breakup?

After a breakup, your heart may be set on getting back together with your ex. In fact, your every waking thought for quite a while may be devoted to how to get your ex back. But sometimes, it just doesn't seem to work out for you no matter how hard you try. How do you know when it's time to accept defeat and try to convince your heart to move on after a breakup? How do you know there's just no hope?


That is one of the most difficult questions to ask yourself after a breakup. When you're convinced that there is still love left on both sides of the equation, it can feel like an impossible situation. You can't really convince your heart that it doesn't love someone all of a sudden. It takes time for the heart to move on even if the head feels like it's gotten the message already.


There's really only one time when you should really give up hope for making a relationship work. That's when you know, without a doubt that there isn't any love left there.


British pop singer Adele has a brilliant song out right now that addresses how things aren't over for her even though she knows and accepts that he's moved on. It's one of the most soulful and insightful songs on the subject of loss in a relationship.


The song is essentially a conversation with the man who got away and went on with his life. It discusses how she doesn't begrudge him his happiness. She only wants the best for him. But, she wants him to know that it's not over for her – at least not yet. There's a moment in the chorus that's just raw emotion. "Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead."


Those are powerful words and very true. And you know, if you're being completely honest with you, that the good that goes with loving someone like that is worth the pain when it doesn't work out – even when that pain feels suffocating. The more it hurts the more you know you've loved.


In Adele's song, "Someone Like You," there was love left but it was one-sided. He had moved on with his life. He'd found another girl and gotten married. His dreams were coming true. That left her with a love that wasn't returned and the knowledge that it was time to move on.


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Sunday 30 October 2011

Getting Over Your Ex, What to do When One Day at a Time Isn't Doing the Trick

Breaking up hurts. There's no surprise in that news. You've been down in the dumps for a while. You want things to get better but you just don't see the silver lining on the other side of the dark cloud that your life has suddenly become. People keep telling you that things will get better – that you need to take one day at a time. The thing is, one day at a time doesn't seem to be getting the job done. You need to get over your ex now so you can move on with your life. Is there anything you can do to speed the process along?


This is not as uncommon as you think. Many people in your situation have a lot of difficulty coming to terms with the way their relationships ended. Many of them are struggling with feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. All the while they are forced to live with a suddenly gaping hole in the centers of their universe. It can be a painful process to go through for even the strongest of people. In some ways, the strongest people have greater difficulty coping because their worlds are generally much more orderly.


Here are a few things you can do that will move your focus from what you've lost and return it to restoring order in your universe and getting over what's been left behind.


Retake Control of What You Can


Control is important at times like these. The breakup was something you can't control. It's over. It wasn't your choice but you can't force your ex to reconsider. Now is the time to focus on what you CAN control – like how you are reacting to the breakup.


You can walk through life with a huge, dark storm cloud over your head. That is your choice to do so. Or, you can take your biggest industrial strength umbrella and use it to shield your orderly little corner of the universe from the storms raging elsewhere.


Start making decisions about tomorrow and the day after that. The more you plan for your future right now, the more control you're taking over your life. With every ounce of control you gain, you'll enjoy one step further away from the encompassing sense of loss that has tied you down in the days since your breakup.


So, start setting goals for the future and making plans for how to accomplish those goals. It will make a world of difference in your outlook as well as your feelings about what's going on in your life.


Consider Counseling


I know that there is a huge negative connotation associated with counseling in some circles – even today. But, sometimes this is the most direct route for working through your emotions and rediscovering your own sense of self and self-worth.


More importantly, a qualified counselor will be able to identify if your sadness over the loss of your relationship is something a little more serious than sadness and may be signs of a deeper depression.


If you can't seem to move on even after several months have passed, please consider counseling to see if the problem may be medical rather than reactionary.


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