Getting Over Your Ex, What to do When One Day at a Time Isn't Doing the Trick

Breaking up hurts. There's no surprise in that news. You've been down in the dumps for a while. You want things to get better but you just don't see the silver lining on the other side of the dark cloud that your life has suddenly become. People keep telling you that things will get better – that you need to take one day at a time. The thing is, one day at a time doesn't seem to be getting the job done. You need to get over your ex now so you can move on with your life. Is there anything you can do to speed the process along?

This is not as uncommon as you think. Many people in your situation have a lot of difficulty coming to terms with the way their relationships ended. Many of them are struggling with feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. All the while they are forced to live with a suddenly gaping hole in the centers of their universe. It can be a painful process to go through for even the strongest of people. In some ways, the strongest people have greater difficulty coping because their worlds are generally much more orderly.

Here are a few things you can do that will move your focus from what you've lost and return it to restoring order in your universe and getting over what's been left behind.

Retake Control of What You Can

Control is important at times like these. The breakup was something you can't control. It's over. It wasn't your choice but you can't force your ex to reconsider. Now is the time to focus on what you CAN control – like how you are reacting to the breakup.

You can walk through life with a huge, dark storm cloud over your head. That is your choice to do so. Or, you can take your biggest industrial strength umbrella and use it to shield your orderly little corner of the universe from the storms raging elsewhere.

Start making decisions about tomorrow and the day after that. The more you plan for your future right now, the more control you're taking over your life. With every ounce of control you gain, you'll enjoy one step further away from the encompassing sense of loss that has tied you down in the days since your breakup.

So, start setting goals for the future and making plans for how to accomplish those goals. It will make a world of difference in your outlook as well as your feelings about what's going on in your life.

Consider Counseling

I know that there is a huge negative connotation associated with counseling in some circles – even today. But, sometimes this is the most direct route for working through your emotions and rediscovering your own sense of self and self-worth.

More importantly, a qualified counselor will be able to identify if your sadness over the loss of your relationship is something a little more serious than sadness and may be signs of a deeper depression.

If you can't seem to move on even after several months have passed, please consider counseling to see if the problem may be medical rather than reactionary.

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