Moving on after a breakup is one of the hardest things many people will ever have to do. It's hard to consciously leave a large part of your life behind you and move on towards other things that are unknown and, perhaps, a little bit frightening. It's even harder to do this knowing that you're going to have to do this without the one person who has been your comfort and security for so long by your side.
There's no way to get around the fact that breakups are painful. You can't say a lot about the relationship if there isn't pain involved in its demise. But, they don't have to be consuming. Some people forget that while the breakup is the end of something wonderful in their lives, it is also a new beginning for something that has the potential to be equally wonderful. Here are a few things you can do to ease the transition.
Make a List
Oh yes, lists are fun – but only if you intend to follow through with them. This list is one you'll want to finish. It isn't a bucket list. It's not things you want to do before you die. It's things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because your ex wouldn't let you or didn't approve. It could be something like deep sea fishing, sky diving, or buying a motorcycle.
You want your list to be of the "Top 10 Things I Couldn't Do then but Want to do Now" or something along the lines, variety. The goal is to have 10 things on your list. They don't have to all be big expensive things. In fact, it's better if they aren't. You want them to be reasonably affordable but don't eliminate something that's really important just because it's a little on the pricey side. Part of the fun is coming up with a plan to save the money (second job, extra hours of work, etc.) to accomplish your goal.
You need at least 10 things that you really want to do but haven't ever been able to. Then you need to sit down and plan out a method to accomplish each and everything on your list.
Having goals and making plans is a critical step towards healing and moving on after a breakup. More importantly, it gives you something to look forward to and ten really big reasons to keep getting up in the morning and going about your day. As you get closer to reaching each and every one of your goals, your excitement is going to build and you'll find that you're getting back into enjoying the land of the living all over again.
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