Break Up Advice For Men And Women: 2011

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

5 Signs Its Time to End Your Relationship

In our heart of hearts, we always know when a relationship is ending. Sadly, people avoid and ignore the signs - staying in relationships long past their expiry date. Why? Breaking up is painful and people would rather delay dealing with it and avoid feeling the pain for as long as possible.

If you are unhappy and in a relationship you sense isn't serving you any longer, then read on. Also, please know this is a very brief synopsis of each sign. I could easily have written pages about each one but only have limited space here. If, after reading this article, you feel you need more in depth guidance and support, be sure to take me up on my offer at the end, ok?

1) Fighting
Has your relationship become a battleground? If so, then the only thing you have left in common is conflict. When you're at this point, the relationship is no longer nourishing you, instead it's depleting you. Fighting can be healthy within a flourishing relationship, but continual repetitive purposeless arguments with nothing being resolved indicates the relationship is over.

2) Small Common Ground
When all the things that connected you in the beginning are now replaced with a multitude of differences. You may find all the activities, habits and even where you want to vacation no longer align.
The most common place this shows up is in time. One partner feels daily intimate connection is vital, while the other prefers just weekends.

3) Boredom
Another way to tell it's over is when your waking up depressed, vaguely disconnected and blue. You're not sure what's the matter with you, nothing terrible has happened, you just have an overall feeling of hopelessness and very little joy in your life. This often means the essential vitality in your relationship is gone and you're not "in love" any more.

I want to point out there is a big difference between comfortable familiarity and boredom. The best metaphor is the difference between a comfortable pair of shoes and old shoes that have worn out and hurt your feet. Check in and see which shoe fits YOU.

4) Emotional Distance
This is when you become aware that the person you've been relating with is no longer there when you reach out to make contact. Any attempt to have a conversation consistently illicits a negative response. This is what people mean when they refer to "a lack of communication". When communication has broken down (verbal, sexual, emotional, affection) this is experienced as emotional distance.

5) Moving Away
Many relationships that have gone past their expiry date really collapse when there's a change in geography. Habits and routines are often the glue that binds and supports a relationship. For this reason, a relationship that is ending will be severely impacted with a change in location. The relationship was being held together by the house, the neighbourhood or town.

Couples will buy and build their dream house and, once moved in, the relationship falls apart. It may look like moving was the problem, but actually the breakdown was already occurring long before.

If one or more of these points is resonating, then we should probably talk. I've successfully helped many women smoothly transition either back to the honeymoon stage as well as expertly guide others to release a relationship in the most loving, least painful and conscious way.

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Tuesday, 13 December 2011

How Can You Move On When She's Still In Your Life?

Moving on after an unwanted breakup is hard to do in the best of circumstances. You know, when you part ways and can go for a long period of time without being faced with her each and every day. It's even harder when you must face each other day in and day out once the breakup has happened.

She may have had time to come to terms with the fact the relationship has ended. It was her decision to end things after all. But you're still trying to get your bearings. Every time you bump into her it feels like you've just been sucker punched. You want to move on and put the past behind you, but how do you do that when she's not exactly in your past?

Working together or living a lifestyle that keeps you together after a breakup can be extremely difficult for the one who didn't want things to end. There are a lot of unresolved issues, more than a little bit of hurt, and even some amount of anger to deal with. It makes the situation even worse when you can't really express how you feel and still have to deal with the constant reminder of what is lost to you.

How do you cope in a situation like this?

Consider a Change

If there is ever a time to consider big changes in your life, this is one of those times. If you're working with your ex, then it's time to consider changing jobs or, perhaps, even careers.

It's always wise to do a little bit of a self-evaluation after a breakup. You know, take time to see where you are right now compared to where you thought you'd be by now and how that ranks with where you want to be right now. No, I'm not talking about where you'd like to be as her boyfriend but were you'd like to be as an individual man.

Are you doing the job you always wanted or did you settle for something different? Do you have the degree of financial security for the future you'd always dreamed off? Did you sell out of the excitement you wanted in your career for the security of a steady paycheck? Are you willing to make changes?

I know the job market seems tough right now but maybe it's time to consider going back to school and taking small steps toward a different future.

Keep in mind that not all changes have to be centered around your office situation. Other changes you might consider would be a new place to live – even anew cityif that can be arranged. If you're going to make a clean break and start over and you need distance from your ex, there's no better way to get it than by leaving town.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Why Rebounds And No Contact Work In Your Favor When You Want to Get Your Ex Back

If the person who gets dumped stays around to try to be friends with the dumper, it's a lot easier for the rebound relationship to flourish. Why? Because someone else is taking up the slack, someone who knows the dumper much better. Eventually the rebound learns enough to get into the dumpee's spot and then the dumpee's pushed out of the relationship totally.

So if the ex is someone you've been in a long term relationship with, and you've gotten into the attachment stage, you're still in the attachment stage even after the split (especially if it was an unaggressive split). The dumper is in the honeymoon stage with the rebound relationship, giving them the best of both worlds - and it's great for the rebound as well. If you hear people say they're torn between two loves, this is typically what they are referring to.

You can be in love with both, but at different stages in your relationship. So they get the excitement of a new relationship along with security from the old one. This is why affairs in normally strong relationships can happen as well.

You will often hear this if you hear the dumper's side of the story. They'll say you're like my best friend, brother, sister, etc. They love you. But they aren't IN love with you. This is the attachment phase of a relationship. The rebound is sexually exciting and fun and thus they want to be with the rebound, not with you. If you don't believe me, look around objectively at relationships you've seen.

Ones where people are always fighting and breaking up and cheating and yet they still stay together. Consider women who love men that are always up and down and have no future. Look at men who are with weird needy women who treat them like crap. Or women who go out with peniless bad boy bikers.

It all boils down to sexual excitement and attraction, plain and simple. So let's say you're the dumpee and you want your ex back. You MUST go low contact or no contact if possible. If you're in a good place with your ex, then don't just suddenly go NC, instead do it gradually. So if your ex panics that you're suddenly gone, you dont have to be completely gone - just taking a back role.

When you go no contact, let your ex know, and do it in a considerate way. Tell them that you need space and time to move on. Wish them the best and hope that they truly succeed in their new relationship. They may ask if you want to be friends in the future, say that you don't know if it's a good idea, but that the future is always uncertain. Leave it there - that's all you need to do.

Now your job is to get fit, improve your life, date other people, get out and socialize, etc. Genuinely do start moving on in your life. If your ex does in fact come back into your life later on, which they will if you had a good connection with them, then the new you - the attractive and self sufficient one - will really hook them. They will start thinking about being with YOU again. This is a big point for a man.

Your ex girlfriend leaves you telling you she felt you were too much a boy. Well, she finds you a man six months after, and then you have HUGE points with her and she will be interested in you intimately. This will increase your air of mystery to her and surprise her.

No, you can't MAKE your ex fall in love with you, but you can improve the odds of them coming back to you. Your chances are way higher with an ex because they already know you. Your time apart will be in your favor because you'll instantly hook them as they'll be attracted to the new you much more quickly.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Super Effective Tricks to Get My Ex to Talk to Me Again! This is an Absolute Must Know For You

Do you feel frustrated because of your broken romance relationship? Do you want to explain about your situation to your ex that led to break up? You can then make use of some tricks to get your ex to talk to you again.

You should remember that calling your ex over and again cannot help to get him/her back. Instead, it would irritate him/her. You need to give your ex enough time to think about the break up clearly.

You can also dedicate your time to think about where it went wrong in your relationship. It is worth to focus on your negative aspect. You can then start your communication with an apology for your wrong behavior that hurt your ex in the past. If your ex does not want to respond, then you can send short messages to his/her mobile phone. It is not advisable to show that you have broken down. You can send SMS in a friendly manner at least three times a week.

You need to dress well to attract the attention of your ex. You can start doing some workouts and drop your extra pound. This can make your ex to realize that he/she is missing something in his/her life.

You can ask any of your common friends to explain your situation to your ex. However, you need to be careful in choosing a friend who can communicate your mind clearly to your ex. Some of your friends may advise you to go out and meet a new partner to kindle the envy of your ex. Some may advice to consume alcohol and have some fun. You cannot get your ex back in either ways.

If your ex starts thinking that he/she misses you more, you need to use that chance to rebuild your relationship stronger than before.

Pay Close Attention Here

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out

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Saturday, 10 December 2011

How To Get Back With Your Ex, 5 Simple Ideas To Use Now

If the best thing you can do right now is to learn how to get back with your ex, then read and use these 5 simple tips. Maybe you were in a relationship that you thought would last forever. Whether it was a simple dating relationship that suddenly ended or a marriage that had problems and was heading for divorce, don't give up on it, believe that there is always another chance to get back with your ex. Now that you've realized that you're not ready to give in and let your love slip away, then you need to know how to get back with your ex.

The main thing to remember is that if there was love between you, then there is always the possibility that it is still there. We cannot rewrite what has happened or undo our mistakes, but we can always give our love another chance to grow between us.

You both need the chance to take a step back away from the relationship, and the problems within, and give yourselves the time to think things through without everyday pressures. After this crucial step only then will it be a good thing to get together for a discussion. Don't be tempted to rush this crucial no contact step.
The problems that got in the way of your love will eventually need to be addressed. You cannot move on with your relationship without sorting out the problems. That would just put your relationship back to where it was when you broke up. You will need to talk out the issues, and make plans to resolve them. If these problems can't be sorted out then your reconciliation won't last. Maybe it was one major problem or something that happened which caused your breakup, or a behavior that was intolerable to the other partner. Whatever the cause, you both need to agree to either accept or change the behavior or fix the issue.

A problem caused by one partner's cheating may be a difficult problem to get over. Any break of trust and consequent re-building of that trust can be a major issue to resolve. Such a destruction of trust can cause such heartache, that it will take time and especially belief that there can ever be reason to trust in the future. If there is still love between you, it may be beneficial to get the assistance of a person who is qualified to help deal with such issues.

Another important piece of advice, if you want to know how to get your ex back is not to behave in a needy way. No doubt you are desperate to get back with them, but you cannot do this by giving them power over you. You need to be your own person, and act confident and assured even when you don't feel it. They will find this confident you both attractive and impressive. Rather than driving them further away, a confident approach will pull them towards you.

The last major thing to think about is whether you are doing the right thing in getting them back. Are you prepared to change your ways, or do you believe that they can change their ways in the future? Make sure that you are convinced that this is right for both of you. It won't be easy. It will take work on both your parts to re-build a failed relationship. Make sure that the relationship is worth the effort. Will you be better off with them than on your own or with someone else. Only you can decide if love can conquer all and to truly understand how to get back with your ex.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Will I Get Her Back by Fixing Her Problems, FAQs

Hi there, and welcome to another article in my FAQ's series. I received a letter from a reader asking "Will I get her back if I can fix [her problem/problems]. (Note - I won't share what my reader imagines "her problems" to be - they are not truly the issue for them anyway.) But the whole notion of fixing "anything", brings up a point I would like to expand on. Men and woman view issues vastly differently and a better understanding of these differences will help you get her back.

When I speak of the fundamental differences in men and women, I'm referring to how men and women differ in their thought process, how we communicate differently and the different ways we are attracted to in one another.

Typically females develop the creative side of their brain faster leading to enhanced feelings of love, communication and the importance of relationships. Yep, they like to cuddle more, feel love deeply and enjoy being taken care of.

While men develop the left side of the brain faster, the logical side. Which means we like to solve problems, build stuff, and figure stuff out. We like to fix shit! Our sense of value is based on producing results. Her sense of value is more based on "feeling".

One of women's biggest complaints is "You're always trying to change me". They want empathy and we offer solutions. We assume that if we can just fix them, or the problem, that it shows our love. Women most often just want us to sincerely listen to them.

As men we often hear "You don't listen"! Of course we aren't "really listening" we are busy trying to fix the dam problem.
Don't go about trying to get her back as something that needs "fixed", it won't work. She has to see you in a different light than she is seeing you now.

The things you value as important are not the same things she puts much value on. You have to understand she values love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship. Were you giving her these? Or were you trying to "fix" things instead?

She is not a broken screen door that needs repaired. When she is upset she doesn't necessarily expect you to "fix things" she just needs you to listen. Many arguments and fights can be avoided simply by listening to her.

Here's a quick example:

Bob has been really worried about getting a big promotion at work and has doing a few extra things at work and has been getting home a little late on occasion.

Tammy has had a bad day and barks at Bob when he arrives home late - again!

Bob is immediately offended because he knows how this promotion would cure many of their financial concerns and very logically explains this to her, again! He leaves it at that and assumes the issue has been "fixed". bob is a tad annoyed at her not appreciating the extra work he is doing....

Therefore,Bob never really heard what Tammy was really saying, and they end up bickering the evening away.

Let's play this out another way….

Bob arrives home, and when met with by an irritated Tammy, he stops and realizes that she is really saying something other than "you're late".

Bob realizes that he really has been neglecting Tammy because of work.

Bob: (giving Tammy a hug) Damn baby, I really have been spending too much time at work and not enough with you, I‘m sorry I‘m made you feel unappreciated!

Tammy (visually in a better mood already): Oh Bob, it's just that I miss you and I know you are trying really hard to get that promotion at work. Forget I said anything.

Bob: (looking sincerly into her eyes) No, I love you and you do as much as I do and I really do appreciate that. You mean everything to me.

Tammy: Awww, It's just that I had a really bad day, and no one appreciates me at work. I shouldn't take it out on you.

Bob: Baby, tell me what happened at work….

And they go on to have a meaningful conversation that leaves them feeling reconnected, instead of another night of arguing and bickering.

In summary, when asking "Will I get her back" be aware of these differences when communicating about anything important. Remember the things that are important to her; love, communication, the ability to listen and the strength of her relationship.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

How to Get Your Happily Ever After Back

In the beginning it was a lot like a fairy tale. You met your Prince Charming. You fell in love with him and he fell in love with you. It was a whirlwind courtship and you believed you both on your way to the storybook wedding you'd always dreamed of. Then, reality set in and happily ever after suddenly doesn't seem quite so certain.

You both still love each other. There's no doubt about that at all. In fact, love is the least of your worries. There's plenty of it to go around. The passion is still smoking hot too. A little too hot – at least when passions are high in the process of disagreeing. So, what is the problem that's taken you off course and what can you do to get your happily ever after back on track?

Write a Different Script

Work on this script together. The problem with happily ever after is that you've got two separate visions of exactly what that means coming into the picture – both of those visions are more than little bit unrealistic too. It's time for the two of you to have a long talk about what you expect from each other, what you'd like to get out of the relationship, and how you'd like to be treated.

Figure out which things you really need in a relationship, which things you'd like to have in a relationship but can be relatively happy without, and which things you can live without – provided that all your needs and some of your "wants" are being taken care of.

Decide on these things together and see how differently happily ever after turns out to be for both of you. Just make sure that you're both doing a little bit of giving and taking in the rewrite process.

Go for a Chance of Scenery

Sometimes, having the same old fights, discussions, arguments, and "make up" scenes in the same place can have a negative impact on the relationship. After a while it begins to feel like a repeat performance and a never-ending cycle.

It's time to break the cycle and get out of the rut. Something as simple as a change of scenery can often do the trick. When things start getting out of hand or you feel like you're beginning to lose a little of the spark and sizzle your relationship has always had before, then it's time to plan a little trip out of town.

I know budgets are tight these days and every penny counts. The last thing you want to do is add money problems on top of other contentious issues so start a little "get away" fund that you both contribute a small amount of money to each and every week.

If you both put $10 into the jar every week, it won't take long to have enough money for a weekend out of town. If you can hang on a little longer you should be able to manage a long weekend or a short vacation. The goal is to have funds available to travel when needed for the sake of recharging your relationship, after all.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Simple Gestures that Will Sweep her off her Feet

The movies always show the grand statements designed to sweep girls off their feet. This leaves guys thinking that all women are after the big things. The truth of the matter though, is that it's the little things; the small, simple gestures, that worm their way into her heart and get a firm hold. If you've found the girl you know is right for you and you're ready to let her know that you're the guy for her, here are a few small things you can do that will make a big impression.

Cook for Her

Ancient wisdom says that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach but modern wise guys (not in the mafia sense) know that showing her you not only know how but are willing to cook for her is guaranteed to score you a few positive points. You'll score a few extra points if there is chocolate on the menu and you clean up after yourself.

Women love to know they're getting a burly macho he-man but they also like to see that he's not intimidated in the kitchen. She wants to know that he can help when life gets hectic and that he's "man enough" to step up to the plate and do it.

More importantly, not all women can cook. She might be looking for a guy who can cook at least as well as, if not better than, she can for the sake of survival down the road.

Send her Love Letters

You need to actually break out the pen and paper and write for this one. I know, it seems so archaic in the world of text messages, email, and Twitter. However, she can hang on to physical copies of the letters when you're not around, tie them up in pretty ribbons, and keep them around to remember your "courtship" years from now when she's starting to forget just how romantic you once were.

The key in these letters is romance. The fact that you're writing them down generally means you're going to put a little more thought into them than you would if you were quickly tapping out a text message or email. It also means you NEED to be more careful and say only what's on your heart. Always read through them before putting them into the mail and sending them to her.

If you want to score a few additional brownie points, fold the letters up and send them inside a romantic greeting card. This tells her you're thinking about her when she's not around enough that you went out and bought a greeting card just for her. Like I've said before, it's the simple little things that really make her heart melt.

Carry her Load for Her

If you've watched many movies that date back to the 1950's with teenage love stories involved the guys almost always end up carrying the school books the girl was lugging around. They understood that this simple gesture was a great way to score some major points.

It dates back to the old hunter – gatherer mindset that has been genetically programmed into men and women throughout the ages. Times may be changing but women still like to feel that the men in their lives are going to be the hunters and protectors. Carry the things that have her hands full. Lighten her load. Every time you do this, she'll fall a little more in love with you.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

I Think She Is Ready to Leave, What Can I Do to Make Her Stay?

Both men and women share one really big fear when it comes to relationships. That fear is... that the other person will leave them. For some people, this fear is extremely present in their lives, even when everything is going good. For others, it is there because they are getting the feeling that their significant other is going to leave them. If you are getting the feeling that your girlfriend is going to leave and you want to find a way to make her stay, read on.

Right off the bat, you want to know that as long as she has not left you yet, that is a very good thing. It's much easier to fix a relationship than it is to try and get someone back after they leave. Not that you can't get back a woman when she breaks up with you, it's just a little bit harder.

Here's some advice on how to make her stay if you think that your girlfriend is ready to leave you:

a) Don't over react to your fears.

While your intuition may be correct, it might not be. There's been some interesting research done recently in the field of social psychology that shows that people's intuitions are way off base in a lot of situations. And one such situation is where there are deep emotions involved. When emotions are involved and then you combine that with a little fear, it's easy to wind up thinking something is going to happen when there really is no reason to think it will.

b) Schedule out some alone time with your girlfriend.

One of the most common reasons why couples break up, is because they get to a point where they no longer spend a lot of quality time together. Like, when you were first dating your girlfriend, you probably were ready to drop everything just to spend some time with her. Then, when you are deeper into the relationship, you start to take each other for granted. Schedule out some alone time with your girlfriend. Take a weekend trip together. Take her out to her favorite club. Just make sure that you spend QUALITY time with her.

c) Find a way to hook her, so that she cannot even think of being without you.

You don't want to do this in some controlling, creepy kind of way. That's not at all what I am trying to suggest. You need to get her hooked on you and the best way to do this, is to find a way to connect with her on a level that no one else has before. Get inside her deeper than any other guy has... and she will want to stay with you and won't even be able to imagine life without you.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Read How To Get Your Boyfriend Back

Lots of people fall short to get back their love one simply because they do this anxiously in their own way. If you really want to win back your ex boyfriend, dont discard any chances to get him backward. It is important to do it in a systematic way with confidence and trust to yourself that you will succeed. Do not follow you own way if you are not sure that it would be effective, it might probably set yourself up to hell situation where getting ex back is impossible.

It is a common feeling between you and your ex - both of you feel desperate. Being broken hearted really is painful and hurtful, sometimes it cause you physical pain when it is past an acceptable limit. But you must keep yourself calm and cool so you can come up with some systematic ways of how to get your ex boyfriend back to you. Find out how to get your ex boyfriend backward without making mistakes, and learn to apply it to your situation. Although you are anxious to get back your ex and trying to deal with the break up, take time to consider if it is worthy to fight for the relationship. Does it worth?

It is practical and useful if you assessed your relationship way backward before the breakup. List down all the negatives and the positives of the relationship ; evaluate what part of the relationship worked better and what things would you like to adjust? Even if you may have been forsaken, keep in mind that there are only a few relationships that are ideal and this is your chance to evaluate how good the partnership truthfully was. This strategy of evaluating relationship helps dead set assess your real feelings towards your partner ; most of the time the results may shock you to find out that you are also set to let him go and move on. Or it could be the other way, it may confirm that you want to win your ex boyfriend backward because you still love him and that there is a hope for the both of you to be happy together.

However, if you really just want to learn how to get your ex backward and finish the depression, desperation and emotional distress of a breakup and get your ex backward then, you need to stop, you need to think, and you need to set yourself some ground rules to go by. If you cant do this, you will fall victim to your own feeling which would only make your life more miserable! Always keep in your mind not to let anyone tell you its overthere is no other right person who can decide that the relationship is over - only yourself can make a decision for it., and if you know as well as that it's not over yet, then you are on the first step to getting your ex backward : do n't give up! Eventually, you must think that the simplest approach to continue your emotions in test is to set yourself consistent ground rules, and use your head to stay your heart away from messing things up.

Dont let the heart deceive you! Let the head rule over your heart so it serves the purpose!

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Sunday, 4 December 2011

What If Your Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break?

Did your girlfriend hint at the idea of taking a break for a little while? Has she gone even further and instead of hinted at it, demanded that the two of you take a break from each other? Are you wondering what that might possibly mean? If so, then you definitely want to keep reading all the way to the bottom. There is usually a good reason for why a woman might want to take a break from the guy she is dating, and sometimes it is not as bad as it might seem for the moment.

Women have given out the line about needing to take a break for ages. There is a good chance that your father heard it before and so did his father. It's nothing really new. However, when it happens to you it can easily seem brand new and not in a good way. More like in a way that you wish you did not have to experience at all.

Here are a few reasons why your girlfriend might want to take a break:

1) She is wrapped up in thinking about her future career wise and wants to focus on that for a while.

This may be the reason why she says that she needs to take a break. For some people, their career and getting ahead is the first priority that they have and if a relationship seems to be interfering with their advancing of their career, then the relationship needs to take a back seat in their mind. Never fear, this is a situation that does not need to spell the end of your hopes and dreams. It may be just a temporary phase, one that you can work through.

2) She is feeling too much passion in the relationship and does not know how to handle it.

If a woman feels as though there is too much passion or that things are moving too fast and she needs to be able to step back and get a breath of fresh air, so to speak, then this may be why she says that she needs to take a break. Again, this is a situation that does not mean that it has to be over for good.

3) She has lost her attraction to you and wants to date other men.

This is the situation that you really don't want to have to deal with. Many times the reason why a woman says that she wants tot take a break is because she just does not feel like she did when she first met you and she wants to see what she feels like with other men. This is a situation that you need to worry about, because it really can mean the end of you and her for good.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

When Will the Emotional Roller Coaster Over Your Breakup End?

If you're like most people, you've been on a bit of a roller coaster ride since your breakup. It doesn't matter so much if you were the one who was dumped or the one who did the dumping. You're going to experience a wide range of highs and lows in the days and weeks following your breakup.

Unfortunately, there isn't a magic number of days after which your emotional state will suddenly find its inner sense of calm and life can return to pre-relationship status. There are too many variables and mitigating factors from one person to the next for that to happen. However, there are things you can do that will help you regain some sense of equilibrium and work on a smoother state of mind after your breakup takes place.

Meditation

It's not just for fitness buffs and people on the path to greater enlightenment or in search of higher beings. Meditation is a great way to soothe rattled nerves and enhance feelings of calm. Meditation can even help lower blood pressure.

More importantly, it's an opportunity to really collect your thoughts and focus your energies towards more positive results in your life and in your relationships (now and in the future).

The great thing about meditation is that you can change your state of mind without turning to destructive things like alcohol and illegal drugs or prescribed medications that often have undesirable side effects. It also costs considerably less than spending hours on end dissecting your life in search of clarity with a counselor.

Write

Writing is another, often overlooked but, effective method of finding inner peace and calm after an emotionally devastating breakup. You have a lot of thoughts and feelings floating around in your mind. There's nothing quite like putting them down on paper to get them out of your head.

If you've watched the Harry Potter movies you'll recall that Professor Dumbledore had a "pensive" where he would take threads or thoughts out of his mind and put them into the pensive.

Putting emotionally charged thoughts onto paper works a little like the pensive, but not quite. The difference is that you're able to remove them from the forefront of your mind when writing them down. The thoughts are still there, they just aren't as emotionally charged. It's a great way to avoid the rise and fall of emotions that come after a breakup. When you write them down you take away some of the power of these thoughts – that's why so many therapists recommend journaling to help people through the, sometimes, painful process of therapy and to facilitate faster healing.

Friday, 2 December 2011

The Way To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Come Back Running, Make Him Think You No Longer Care

A breakup can cause all sorts of emotions and nearly everyone of them is negative. It's hard to take a positive attitude when you have just seen your dreams of a future with the man you love shattered. Your instinct is to try to save the relationship which could lead you to chasing and begging your ex boyfriend. But, to make him come running back, you have to make your ex think you no longer care.

Making yourself appear needy and desperate will give your ex boyfriend a negative image of you. It might seem hard to believe, but making him think you no longer care for him, will give him a positive image of you. The reason for this is the way men think and you need to get inside his head and direct his thinking in the right direction by using some male psychology.

As long as you are always around and your ex boyfriend is sure of you, he won't come back to you. Why should he? He knows you are not going anywhere and you will be there when he wants you. To make your ex boyfriend come running back, you have to create some doubt in his mind. You have to take him out of his comfort zone and make him feel you are slipping away.

When you begin to go out and have fun and find other interesting things to do instead of hanging around hoping he will say a kind word, your ex will notice it. Men always keep track of their ex girlfriends after a breakup. Your ex boyfriend might be acting like he doesn't want you anymore, however he doesn't want any other guy to have you either.

One of the hardest things for a man to take is being ignored. It make it worse if the one ignoring him is his ex girlfriend. This is how you get inside his head and use male psychology to push his emotional hot buttons. Once your ex boyfriend begins to worry about losing you for good, you will begin to occupy his every thought. He will realize he still loves you and misses you like crazy.

The fact that men always want what they can't have will spark his interest in you and bring the old desire back. Your ex boyfriend will wonder why you stopped loving him and wonder if you have found another guy. This will make him see the breakup was a mistake and he will be kicking himself for letting you go. He will also worry about his image. If you are seen with another guy, people might wonder who it was that got dumped.

When you begin to occupy his thoughts, he will remember your laugh and the sound of your voice. Your ex boyfriend will start longing to have the good times with you back. He will want to know if you still love him and he will give you a call. As much as you will want to, you should not answer his phone calls, emails or text messages. This will make him so desperate for your love, he will come running back.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

How to win back his ex-girlfriend? Discover 5 Tips for Recovering

The first thing to understand when you are wondering, "How to win back his ex-girlfriend?" is that the situation is very delicate. Since feelings are hurt and emotions are raw skin, it is important to tread carefully. When it comes to finding ways to win back his ex, here are 5 tips to consider.

1.) Must first determine the reason or cause of the rupture. Even if you are not aware of what might be, there is probably a very good reason why you broke.

After all, women do not tend to break with the boys from nowhere. An important first step is to determine what may have gone wrong, and could not have avoided, and how to go about the problem now that you know what the problem.

2.) If the breakup was your fault, you need to return to it, recognizing the cause of the problem and recognizes that it is their fault. You also need to apologize to her for her actions and unintended consequences of those actions.

3.) Despite his attempt to win back your ex, you should continue socializing with friends and family. No need to be isolated from the rest of the world, just because things are not working between you and your ex. You should spend time with friends and possibly to date with another girl … or girls. This can actually work in your favor because it can cause jealousy of his former girlfriend and drive back to you.

4.) It is also important to show your ex who still cares for her despite that have changed. Ideally, this is the best way to save time in recovery. Letting him know that you still have feelings for her and it was not entirely will make you appear more desirable and mature in their eyes.

5.) Finally, it is essential that you work hard to become friends with his ex-girlfriend again. This will be closer together and build trust. Once they are friends again one can argue why the break occurred first, in an informal and relaxed, without appearing desperate. Ultimately it will let you know if the breakup was a mistake or if it was for the better. Once you have the answer, you can proceed from there.

These are just the first steps you should take the time to ask how to get his ex-girlfriend. Here are the steps I took when I had lost the love of my life. When I had no idea how to get my ex girlfriend. Now we're more in love than ever.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Check Text Messages Online to Catch A Cheating Spouse

Do you want to check text messages online from your spouse? Maybe you suspect that they are keeping something from you, and worse still it may be an affair. Well, unfortunately your mobile phone provider won't be very helpful to help you spy on your spouse. They are restricted by the law from keeping their customers' text messages on their servers, which means that you will not be able to get it from them. The only way to check text messages online from a phone that you don't own is to use a special software program.

Using Smart Phone Spying Programs To Check Text Messages Online

Fortunately, these days there are smart phone spying programs available to you to allow you to check text messages online for a phone that you don't own. Even if the owner of the phone deletes the text messages after reading it, these deleted texts are still recorded on the server so that when you check for it you'll still be able to read the contents of these texts. So how exactly do you get a smart phone spying program installed onto the phone you want to spy on?

You'll have to wait until the phone is unattended, hopefully when your spouse is taking a shower or asleep you will have the opportunity to quickly access the phone. Once you do, it's just a matter of installing it on the phone and then that's it. It's on the phone but won't be visible at all. It's totally stealth and your spouse will never suspect that it is on there at all (just remember to replace the phone in the position that you found it in!).

How You Can Check Text Messages Online From The Phone You're Spying On

Once your program is installed on the phone, you can get remote access to the phone through your computer. It will keep a log of all the texts sent and received from the phone, as well as track call logs, record all pictures and videos stored on the phone, and even pinpoint the location of the phone every hour using the GPS function. That way, if there's anything suspicious going on, you'll be able to know about it quickly and without arousing suspicions of your own. Simply when you check text messages online, you can avoid being taken for a fool by your cheating spouse, and take the actions that you need to protect yourself.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Will I Get Her Back by Changing My Behavior, FAQs

My reader asks "Will I get her back by changing my behavior?". Unfortunately, my reader didn't go into a lot of information about what his current behavior is, except to say he hasn't been handling it very well and his friends are just telling him to "Get over it".

But I can pretty much guess his behavior falls into 1 of 3 usual patterns. Before I go into those behaviors, I want you keep something in mind if you are trying to get a girl back. If you learn nothing else here, lock this one thing into your brain:

Your Mindset is Everything!

Let's talk a little about the 3 common behaviors following a break up.

Behavior 1
Thinking guilt or pity will bring her back. This dude has sent her enough flowers to keep the florists kid in college for the next year. He sends her a hundred texts a day, begging her to come back, they all go unanswered. He announces his undying love for her, that is ignored or worse, scorned. This behavior has no chance in hell of succeeding. This guy has no idea of the correct steps to take.

Behavior 2
Then there's the nutcase, who drives by her house a hundred times a day, shows up at her work or school and waits for her come out. He rings her phone endlessly. He's gung-ho, overly aggressive in his approach. Pretty soon his ex explodes all over him, then she completely ignores him...he's one mistake away from a restraining order.

Behavior 3
The total loser. This is the guy that cries all day, staring out the window hoping to see her drive up. He stares at the phone, begging it to ring and it be her. He keeps the stereo turned off because every damn song that plays reminds him of her. Yeah, she's gonna run right back to this broken, needy, shattered mess - uh not likely.

I hope you starting to see why mindset is so important. To get control of the relationship, you first must get control of yourself.

As long as you are asking "Will I get her back?", I can assume your mindset is all wrong. Just the tone of that question reeks of desperation, and that leaves your girl seeing you as weak, needy, and "clingy"...all very bad signals to be giving off.

Now, getting a girl back isn't all that difficult, if you maintain the proper mindset. You must have a positive outlook!

Come on man, you know she loved you once - And, Yes she is still watching. This is the very reason you can't be exhibiting any of the behaviors we talked about above. This is the time you have to put on your game face and exude confidence, even if you don't feel it right now.

The behaviors and actions you show right now will determine if you will get her back or not. Instead of the behaviors we talked about above, a few of the things you need to be working on are:

Confidence
Women admire a confident man. They desire someone who appears self-confident, decisive, and knows what he wants and how to get it. Women want to respect their man above all else.

Optimism
Lose the gloom and doom attitude if you want her back. Optimism is attractive to her, it makes her, and everyone, feel better about themselves. Women want a man that expects good things to be headed his way.

Happiness
Think about how you were before the break up. Were you happy? If not, if you were miserable - then trust me, she was miserable too. Depression, stress, a crappy attitude are all things that drag a relationship down. After all, the reason for being with someone is to be happy.

Working on those traits will get you started for now, use them and develop them! Take a long hard look at yourself, are you exhibiting one of the three behaviors, or are you showing your ex a confident, optimistic guy that is happy and fun to be around?

Stop asking "Will I get her back?" and start saying "I will get her back" by changing my attitude and having the proper mindset!

Monday, 28 November 2011

Get The Psychological Advantage And Bring Your Ex Boyfriend Back Fast!

When your ex boyfriend broke up with you, he had the psychological advantage. You were no doubt taken by surprise and before you knew what was happening, you were crying and begging him to change his mind. Once he is gone, you will feel sad and lonely. If you are like most women you will also feel that you were responsible for the breakup. But, if you want to bring your ex boyfriend back fast, you have to gain the psychological advantage.

Being desperate and constantly trying to contact him will only allow him to keep the psychological advantage and as long as he has this advantage you will never get him back. He knows you are still in love with him and he can get you back anytime he wishes. Knowing that he can go out and have a good time and even date other women. You will become a backup in case he fails to find someone else.

The way to gain the psychological advantage and bring your ex boyfriend running back is to take away his safety net and leave him out in the cold. You have to make him see the breakup was a mistake and understand he is still in love with you and will do anything to have you back in his arms. When your ex boyfriend begins to miss hearing your voice and seeing your smile, you will gain the psychological advantage.

How can you do this? Getting a man and keeping him is all a matter of using male psychology. You have to constantly be pushing his emotional hot buttons and make him feel you are always just a little out of his reach. The best way to accomplish this is to make him feel he cares more for you than you care for him. That may seem a heartless thing to do, but it is the way to keep a man.

Men are natural hunters and if he is not constantly hunting you, he will go hunt for someone else. That is just a fact of relationships. Look at all of the women who are married to handsome men. Most of these women are not beautiful, but they know how to keep a man's interest sparked. They always make him feel like he hasn't quite won them completely. As long as a man feels he must work for your love, he will stay with you.

This is what you did when you first sparked your ex boyfriend's interest. You toyed with him and made yourself hard to get. As long as you kept him guessing and stayed a little out of his reach, he kept chasing you. Your mistake was allowing him to think he had you and you couldn't let him go. To regain the psychological advantage you have to change his attitude.

As hard and scary as it may be you will have to let your guy go for a while. You must ignore him and go out and live your life. Be seen having fun and even flirt with other guys. If your ex boyfriend still loves you, he will awaken to the fact that he could be losing you for good. That should push his hot buttons and make him see his mistake in taking you for granted. This should also bring him back fast, however you can never let him think he owns you if you want to keep your man.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Exactly How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Five easy steps

If you really want to discover proven ways to successfully get his ex-girlfriend again, there are many techniques that can be performed for better results rather than leave it to chance and hope for the best.

Let me share five techniques that allow you to ultimately get his ex or at least help in this task mcuhisimo ..

5 – If you want to discover how to get your ex-girlfriend again, start here and this extends to touch the issue. Emphasizing hard to get it back is not the best way to approach this situation, although the communication should be reduced ..

4 – Use an e-mail to keep in touch. If you do not find informal methods for keeping in touch with his former love, can not recover. Staying in touch is basically important, however, remain in daily communications, space is important, and do not write emails like "Hey, what's going on?" and Emnos hiding your email address possessed by the love phrases – this will not work!.

3 – If you want to learn how to win back his ex-girlfriend, stay away from all other women. If you want to make sure that will do a good job to get your ex, keep away from other girls.

2 – Remember the important things for her. A natural way to gain understanding of his former lover again means to treat her like a princess. Among the list of the easiest ways to accomplish this would be to demonstrate your attention simply by remembering the most important anniversaries and dates of his life. Give your card on your birthday, show that she is thinking in a very safe and great.

1 – Call. You should not hesitate to send his ex-girlfriend a text message or leave a message occasionally. Doubt is something to be avoided in everyday life and love, so call and lets him know what's going on, so she appreciates where you are and what you're doing. Let her know you cared, and still think about her. If this woman knows she is still in your thoughts constantly, will contribute greatly to the speed to revive the important things with you.

There is no exact procedure or science to the process of finding ways to get your ex back, however, there are many clear-cut suggestions about who should push in the right direction. Certainly, maintaining contact and regular communication is absolutely essential to the process of rekindling the relationship, or it is possible that away from you if this becomes an obsession.

These are just the first steps in getting your ex – it will take some time, but if you really want, time well worth it.

Do not let your ex get back is a matter of luck.

Visit.. How to get back to my ex

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Quick Ways to Get the Girl Back

You feel bad. You broke up with your girlfriend. One can read a silent question in your eyes: "how to get the girl back?".

Just sit, calm down, make your mind positive and think patiently about this problem.

First, you should understand what the cause for break-up was. Perhaps there was a quarrel, arose misunderstanding. Perhaps you could not find a compromise?

Here is the "root" answer to the question: "How to get the girl back?". Charismatic guy knows how to influence his beloved and light feeling with new force. You're not one of those guys? If you want to develop the necessary qualities when dealing with your beloved and resurrect her former love for you then you probably need to choose a good program. Now such programs are abundant on Internet. As the result of using such program you can become an infallible conqueror of ladies' hearts.

She does not pay proper attention to you: does not give a call, does not send SMS. Your pride is hurting. How could this happen? You were so white, so fluffy... You were making your best to show your love to her. But she did not appreciate it. Or maybe she already has another guy? Your life becomes a nightmare. You think: how to return the girl by any means. You dream to recapture it.

Think positively and separate your instincts and desires from your hurting self-esteem. You'll get a first answer to the question: "How to get the girl back?". Maybe it is not worth doing it at all? Ah?

Ok. You are firm with your decision: the girl has to be returned by any means. Then let's go on. If you're such stubborn then the relationships with the girl were good. You rested from her for a while and now you want to restore everything back. I am sure that she has the same wish deep inside her hearts.

The second point would be: never ask her to return. Do not cry into her shoulder and do not say that you are so bad without her. Cultivate your charisma. You're not a nonentity, and can always find someone else. If you're going to beg then she will understand that she can chit on you by any possible ways.

Subconsciously, any woman is seeking a man whom to obey. Show her that you are this man. Prove it to her: "I am pretty well without you". In a telephone conversation hint that you supposedly do not mind to be with her, but Mary, Nancy, Jenny are so lovely... You understand where I am? Push down on her woman's instinct of rivalry. The girl will fight for you.

The third answer to the question "how to get the girl back?" is: hell out of her sight at the best possible long-term (week, two or a month). In the meantime, made several crazy things: jump with a parachute, go to a distant city hitchhike, cast in the ad or the crowd. Change yourself. You can learn to draw, sing, and play the guitar. Establish more new friends. As the result you will get back to her with new qualities and you will leave behind a weak self-esteem. The girl will be pleasantly surprised, intrigued. She will begin to re-open you...

The fourth step on how to return the girl back would be your unexpected call after a long break. Call and explicitly name time and a meeting place. At the date be positive and cool. Keep a small distance, not rush to the girl. Let her think that you have met as friends. Gradually arrogance will leave her. That's the time of action: kiss her. Is she suspending? Confidently stand your ground. Now you can already say that your were bored. Say that you were looking for a girl better, but did not manage to find one. Make her a compliment, kiss and embrace her... Good luck to you in such difficult matter.

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Friday, 25 November 2011

How to Get My Ex Girlfriend, 5 Steps to get it back

Some people might say that there is no magic formula that will answer the question "How do get my ex girlfriend?" But many people are so eager to return to their former girlfriends.

In fact, people who said they had no magic spell right. But we have the closest thing to a spell that will make your ex girlfriend back if you put honesty, heart and mind in the formula. Consider these 5 steps to get your ex girlfriend. How to Get My Ex girlfriend

Before the five steps that we recommend you look into your soul. Do you really want your ex girlfriend back with you? Do you still love your ex and you can not imagine the continuation of your life without it?

Remember the old sweet memories? Can you imagine another girl to replace his ex-girlfriend? Just answer these questions and if you feel you are determined then read on.

* First step: Ask yourself what makes it so special. Please contact her and tell her that he finally acknowledged his rare and unique beauty.

* Second step: Go back to the past. What really caused the rupture. If you believe that everything was her fault, it is necessary to continue. But if you think you've made some mistakes, accept responsibility and be willing to do whatever it takes to return to her.

* Third step: Identify your needs. When someone loses his girlfriend is almost certainly continue to dream about her imagined as a perfect God. We are all human beings have their shortcomings, needs, flaws and all we have to understand. Find what you really want in their man, what you really want a relationship. Be willing to meet your needs and desires.

* Step Four: Discover your true feelings. When you have the opportunity to speak with her again, start talking to her about general topics and issues for the future. Starting to go further into the conversation until you find that is open to answer your questions honestly. Ask her about her true feelings and if he can get back to you one day or not.

* Step Five: Focus on true love. If you intend to reunite with her, can fall into some of the most common mistakes in the past. If you focus on love can find a way to heal old wounds, broken hearts.

Lost your ex is a demanding task, but the rewards are many if you had true love in their hearts. Be sensitive to your needs. Give your love for some time and effort and will have certain success.

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Thursday, 24 November 2011

How to Live With an Ex-Boyfriend When You Still Love Him

Not all relationships can come to an abrupt end just because they have ended. In today's world, where it can be incredibly hard to maintain a residence on your own, more and more couples rush into living together. When they break up, they get stuck living together for a while, because they cannot afford to just pick up and leave. Then, there is the added burden of having a lease that you may not be able to break. So, it is actually somewhat common for a couple to break up, yet still live together for a little while.

That in and of itself can be complicated enough. What if, you still love your ex boyfriend and you are still living together? That can be downright unbearable. While it certainly is not the most "ideal" situation, there are some things that you can do to make it less dramatic than it needs to be.

Here are a few tips if you are still living with an ex boyfriend and you still love him:

1) You have to maintain some boundaries.

It's one thing to still live in the same house or apartment. It's another thing to share the same bed together. If you are still in love with your ex boyfriend and you are living in the same quarters, then it is extremely important that you set some kind of boundaries. If you continue to sleep with him, not only are you going to stay attached, but you are also giving him kind of a "dream" like situation. He's got you at home, but he is not committed to you.

While it may be easy to get caught up in a weak moment, or a moment of passion, think about the consequences. If you let him know that even though you and him are a couple no more, that he can still reap the benefits, don't expect him to take your feelings too seriously.

2) You need to decide once and for all if you want to repair the relationship or find your way out.

At some point, if the two of you are broken up, one of you has to leave. You can't live together after breaking up forever. So, you really need to come to a point where you are either going to try your best to work things out with him or make a plan to get yourself out of this situation. If you continue to stay with him even though you are not "with" him, not only are you going to get messed up emotionally... you will also probably never fully move on.

If your decision is to leave altogether, then work hard on making arrangements. See if there is any family that you can stay with for a short time while you get back on your feet. Find a friend who may let you room with them for a while. If your decision is to work things out, then you need find a proven method to make him want the same thing. Whatever your decision is, you cannot look at the situation of living with your ex boyfriend as being permanent. Either you work things out or you leave.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

How to Recover Your Ex girlfriend or wife and keep you in love with what was?

So you may have made some stupid mistakes or accidents in their relationship. You may have done something very, very bad or many small and simple which also resulted in the bachelor again.

How hard is life, drink and move on? Maybe, but you may want to get back with your girlfriend and win her heart again.

You are saying: "I want my girlfriend back, want my ex is back in my life. I want with my ex."

Yes, I know what you're thinking, but do you really want the relationship was new, or if you want a better relationship with her when she returns? If you ask me, I would say you want your love back, you want the person who was your girlfriend back, you want to be with her again, but I really do not think I want the same respect back.

Well, now that we've established what you want to do really, we will explore ways to win back your ex. Let's explore some strategies on how to get your ex girlfriend or wife. I will show you how to win back your ex, not make you look weak or wimpy.

Do this first:

First, you should take some time to do a self evaluation of your life and the whole situation.

When a relationship ends, the mind and body always wants to go back to the person. But over time we realize that these feelings were only temporary and that the relationship can not be the best thing in our life right now. So the first thing to do is take a few days or weeks to determine their status and position.

Because this article is about how to get your ex girlfriend or wife, is about how to regain their former and not the way to get over your ex.

To get your ex girlfriend, requires patience, because the worst thing you can do is be impulsive, head of the nut or a hen. Women hate a coward, and I do not care much what emotions still have them, you have to look strong and in control.

No This Second

After evaluation, if you decide to return to his ex, the reconstruction of friendship is the second thing I want to do. You will have to start spending time with his ex just as friends, nothing heavy here. This will keep confusion and hostility of age in the distance.

Hey, you're starting in the reconstruction of a bond, you are trying to rediscover. You have to work the next friendship and rebuild that link first.

Make a few chance encounters, may be alone or with a group of friends. Just being in his presence or in a situation where she feels comfortable and not feel pressured.

She will have to quiet your mind before it can pass the decision to get back with you.

You must do this:

Believe me when I say that patience in this area is going to win his heart back in time. And what about the many ways to win, patience is the main know how to get ex girlfriend back.

Do not rush to make that spark happen. This will create more tension and problems will arise and can ruin your chances of winning your ex girlfriend.

Also, do not go to many appointments in a short space of time either. You should space the dates, and most of the time waiting for her to call and launch date. This will be a good sign that is warming you and I enjoy her company.

These are some early advice contained in the blog How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend or Wife. If you wish, you can access and consultation.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Will She Ever Talk to Me Again? Handling an Ex Girlfriend Who Ignores You

You and the woman you love aren't together anymore. You wish it was different, don't you? Of course you do. You adore her and your life feels incomplete since the break up. It's been a challenge but you've held out hope that one day things will turn around and she'll decide that she can't live without you. Unfortunately, things haven't gone down that path yet. Instead, your ex girlfriend has taken to ignoring you. Perhaps you've called her and are always greeted by her voicemail or maybe she just never returns your text messages. Regardless, it's become painfully obvious to you that she's stopped all contact. You're now left wondering if she'll ever talk to you again. The answer actually has just as much to do with your actions as her choice. You can do things now that will ensure you two get past this rough patch so you get to a place where communication feels comfortable and calm again.

Regardless of how dim things seem at the moment there's always a chance you can turn things back in your favor with your ex. Many women pull back emotionally after a break up simply to protect their heart. Women often feel things at a much deeper level than men do and because of that they need space to process the break up, even if it was their idea initially. That is likely the reason your ex girlfriend has now stopped speaking with you or answering your text messages. She just needs some time to catch her breath. You must give her that if you want any type of relationship in the future with her, whether that is friends or more.

It's obviously hurtful when you realize that your ex girlfriend wants little to do with you right now. Your male pride is bound to kick in and that can manifest itself in many ways. You may decide that you refuse to be ignored so you chase after her incessantly trying to get her to pay you even the slightest bit of attention. Perhaps you're more subtle and you get a friend to talk with her about you with the hopes that they'll be able to convince your ex that you're the only man in the world for her.

This is the time in your broken relationship when you must disengage yourself emotionally from your ex girlfriend. You have to take on the view that even though you aren't on speaking terms now, it's temporary and the future will hold something new. Once you let her go, she'll sense it immediately and it will impact her in a positive way.

By giving her time and allowing her the chance to experience her life on her own, you'll be demonstrating several things to her. You'll not only be showing her that you respect her need for time to herself but you'll also be sending a very clear message that you need some time too.

Don't fall into a pattern of thinking that suggests that you need to fix your broken relationship right this very minute. If your ex girlfriend is ignoring you, she's not emotionally ready to deal with you. Stop pushing and start focusing on yourself. In time, her feelings will settle and she'll be ready to open up to the idea of talking again. Patience is your best friend right now so lean on it as much as you can.